Not Gonna Be Perfect and That’s Okay

Perfection is a funny thing. We spend so much of our lives chasing it, the perfect home, the perfect family, the perfect faith walk, and yet it always seems just out of reach. The world tells us that “perfect” means without flaw, that everything we do, say, or create should shine without a single mark or mistake.

For me, perfectionism has always shown up as the need for everything I put out into the world to be without flaw. My creative work, my family, even my relationship with God, I’ve wanted it all to look like I had it together. I thought if I could keep up the appearance of control, maybe that meant I was doing something right.

But that’s not how life works. And honestly, that’s not how God works either.

I can’t pinpoint one single moment when things fell apart, and I suddenly learned the lesson. What I remember instead are the countless times I felt exhausted from trying to maintain the public face I thought I was supposed to have. The times when my house was a mess, my kids were loud and wild, and I scrolled through social media wondering how everyone else seemed to be managing so much better than me.

That exhaustion, the constant striving to be “enough,” always led to guilt, frustration, and the quiet whisper of I’m not good enough.

Somewhere in the middle of all that striving, God started whispering back. Not with correction, but with calm. Not with judgment, but with peace.

There are two verses I lean on when my heart starts spiraling into that perfectionist mindset. The first is John 14:27:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you. Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

And the second is Mark 4:39:

“And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, ‘Peace, be still.’ And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.”

Those words remind me that Jesus didn’t just speak peace to the storm, He speaks it to us, too. He knew our hearts would wrestle with fear, control, and striving. And still, He offers us His peace, not the kind the world gives, the kind that depends on everything looking “just right,” but a peace that stills the storm within us.

I’m still learning to let go of the need to be perfect. It’s an ongoing process. I’m learning that I’m not always going to make the right choices, not as a wife, not as a mom, not as a sister or daughter. But His grace is enough. I’m learning to rest in that truth, to embrace the fact that I’m not perfect, but He is, and He’s got me.

If I could sit across from someone who feels like they’re failing because they can’t get it all right, I’d tell them this: Don’t buy into the lie that you’ve got to have it all together. Even when you aren’t perfect, you still have value, deep, God-given value that no one can take away.

It’s okay to stumble. It’s okay to grow slow. It’s okay to have days when the best thing you can do is breathe and whisper, “Lord, I’m trying.”

God isn’t finished with you. He’s not looking for perfection; He’s looking for presence. He doesn’t expect flawlessness; He asks for faithfulness.

So, stop striving for an unattainable version of perfect. Instead, learn to thrive in the very flaws that remind you of His grace. Because when you release the need to be perfect, you make room for peace, the kind that only He can give.